Monday, 25 April 2011

Do dogs bite the milkman

As a milkman you meet a lot of dogs, I like dogs and they seem to like me.On one delivery there was a Labrador that used to sit serenely in the garden and watch me as I delivered the milk.The customer one day warned me that it had been in a car accident and was a little crazy and that I should watch it as I came up the garden path.

No problem, I did this every single day until one day I was so busy looking at a sexy housewife in her underwear that could just be seen through the window that I forgot about the dog. It did not bark but quietly crept up behind me, bit the back of my leg and then ran. It did not break the skin but it still hurt and I only had myself to blame.

On another delivery a very aggressive Doberman was always left in the garden and would rush up to the gate barking loudly. The milk was always left outside the gate. One day the owner met me at the gate and said let me introduce you to the dog, you can make friends with him and then you can leave the milk on the doorstep. I made friends with him and from that day delivered the milk to the doorstep. Soon afterwards I was delivering milk to this house and the dustmen (Garbage collectors) turned up and the dog went mad. “You must be ****ing mental to go in there“ they said, but then again they were not friends with the dog.
I have come across geese guarding their property and you have to move fast with them, they have long necks and can suddenly give you quite a peck but my worst experience was with two Siamese cats. I can do a good cat meow (as well as Donald duck and chicken noises) and when I came across these two cats in the garden I meowed at them. Big mistake, they went bonkers, started hissing and jumping up at my chest trying to scratch my face and this big brave milkman ended up running as fast as he could to escape the attack

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