Sunday, 15 May 2011

I could have been a TV star

I used to go about my daily work and I was always very happy. Back at the dairy we used to have an area manager and his secretary visit occasionally and I never took much notice of them. One day after I had finished my round the secretary approached me and asked if I would be interested in an audition for a TV advert promoting job vacancies as Unigate milkmen. She thought I was the most photogenic milkman in the dairy and that it would be a good idea to have a go. Maybe she fancied me, I never really found out. A few weeks later I went up to Paddington for the audition, met a load more milkman from all over the South East and spoke to a panel of TV advert makers. I though it went quite well, The Irish in me has never stopped me from talking and some say that I kissed the Blarney stone and I returned back to Dairy knowing I had done my best. A few weeks later I was notified that I was not suitable for the Adverts because I was too pretty to be a milkman. I could have accepted anything for failing an audition but being told that I was too *ucking pretty was big insult. Can you imagine the names I was called by the other milkmen when they found out? My masculinity was in doubt but I had three children to prove that I was not some of the names they called me.

It was all in good humour and I could always hold my own ground. These days you are not allowed to take the Mick out of your fellow workers and all sorts of harassment charges can be made if you do. Times are a changing and it is not for the best


  1. Ah Acorn - you could've been as famous as the Humphreys.

  2. Watchout there's a Humphrey about. I remember it well. Fame escaped me but I do have a very good friend who has just landed a part in a well known program on TV.